Reflections

Thirukkural on Parenting

Thirukkural by Tiruvalluvar (a Tamil poet/writer) was written more than 5,000 yrs ago. It’s one of the ancient science on Human Behaviour, which has not changed in spite of modern education & technology!

SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL:

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advise them more than you encourage them.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.

7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order & command them.

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour & you give little attention to good behaviour.

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something & not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

11. If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others & think its normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

 

Source: swamanthan.wordpress.com

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Reflections

Unforgettable

Until I finished secondary school, people thought of me as the teacher’s pet. This wasn’t because I spent time with my teachers (I was no snitch, but I had one or two favorites). I think it was because I participated a lot in class. I like to read, and I was mostly prepared for class periods.

But I was NOT prepared for February the 17th, 200x.

It was Tuesday. I was in SS1 and we had a Biology test as part of our Continuous Assessment (C.A.). I wasn’t a bad Biology student. I just wanted it to be over quickly so I could focus on my English and English Literature tests. I enjoyed those a lot more.

As a good boy, I sharpened 2 pencils and put them in my locker six (6) minutes before the start of the test. Ms. Alabi hated, hated, HATED the idea of students in a Biology class without pencils. You have to draw 90% of the time. This test was not going to be any different.

I came back from the toilet, and ripped out a middle sheet to start the test. I opened my tomb of a locker to get my writing materials. Both pencils had done like Jesus and disappeared from their resting place.

I was irritated. Who was this rude curmudgeon that was trying to kill my joy? I started asking questions and looking around to see who might have an extra pencil. No one obliged at that time.

My annoyance turned to despair when Ms. Alabi walked into my class with one of the thickest kobokos I had ever seen. In my mind I was praying, “Not for pencil, not for pencil, not for pencil…”

Then she said, “All those without pencil, stand up NOW!!”

I gulped. It HAD to be today.

I stood up. Slowly. waiting for another student to join me on my feet. No one did. Especially not the animal that stole my pencil. I was alone in my sin. I had gone from annoyed to in despair already. Now, I was furious. I was about to chop hot lamba, and I was innocent of the crime.

The lady walked up to me with a mad rage in her eyes. Have you ever seen an albino with red eyes? The day you see one you will notice. She asked me to bend over. By this time, I was as mad as she was, and I grabbed my desk with both hands, like I was about to shake it. She started hitting my buttocks. I stared straight ahead.

Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!

After the third stroke or so, my mind must have left my body. By the time it returned, she was still thwacking my poor ass. I prayed for her to stop, because it was beginning to pain me gan-an.

Maybe she would get tired, I thought. Maybe she would look up and have pity on me.

Well, either way, I thought wrong. By the time she stopped, I was leaning so close to the front of my desk that I was about to enter the damn thing. My shorts had changed colour where she flogged me.

I sat back down. Slowly, of course. As she walked away, the rage still in her, I heard someone call my name to hand me a pencil.

OH, NOW YOU HAVE EXTRA PENCIL. THANK YOU FOR THIS.

The guy handing me the extra pencil looked me in the eye as I reached for it. Then he gave me a thumbs up.

When people were talking to me about what happened, their story was different than mine. They said the woman had flogged me almost 50 times, and I hadn’t moved until the end.

Well. At least I earned some street cred for chesting cane.

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Reflections

Victoria

“Where are you?”

Her voice whistles through the air like a soft wooden arrow with a feather at the end. There are few voices like hers. So many tones. Annoying. Annoyed. Probing.

A lot of questions. Sometimes to my gain. Sometimes to my detriment.

“What are you doing? Why are you in the kitchen all by yourself? Are you hiding from me again?”

Gosh. Which question must I answer first, dear?

“Why are you dressed like this? Are you going somewhere without me?”

She always talks as though I am hiding things from her. Maybe I am. Since it’s me.

“Are you going out again? To where? Don’t you want me to come?”

The smallest tinge of jealousy. I usually like it when a girl, any girl, expresses it with me. A lack of jealousy can betray a lack of feeling; this is good for certain things. Sometimes it betrays too much familiarity. This means she regards your relationship as a necessary evil. A sometimes-beautiful mess of contempt tangled with a dull, long-suffering pain. If this feeling was a person, it would be Victor Zokas, the James Bond villain from The World is Not Enough. The man had a bullet in his brain that doomed him to death; yet he could feel no pain while he was still alive.

I am gone again, leaving her to the things her mind makes that she sometimes calls thoughts. I am gone, but there is still a part of me in the room, and she continues to ask it……me…the questions.

“Why aren’t you ever here, even when you are? What is it that you have done to me, that keeps me from leaving? Who are you that, that keeps my body and soul here, while you run amok in the night with my heart?”

“How can I still feel your presence? How are you still here? How am I still here?”

She crumples to the floor of the room, and reaches for her box. Her special box. That contains her special stuff.

*inhale*

She sticks her nose in the air. Her body is still on the outside, but she quivers on the inside. It’s like my sex. Better even. You can still see the white on her nose. On her face.

The feeling she feels is that much better than my sex. She feels euphoric almost to the point of death, but never quite crosses over. It is The Little Death; only bigger.

*exhale*

A little blood drops to the floor. She’s closer than the last time.

The love kills her slow, but she can still take risks with it.

Victor(ia), meet bullet.

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Reflections

Tottenham & the Art of Constantly Improving: An EPL Blog Post

Best. Premiership Season. Ever.

OKFM never blogs about football. This post isn’t even really about football. We will say, however, that this has been the most fun-filled, dramatic and unreal English Premier League Season ever.

*deep breath*

 

LEICESTER, AND NEVER STAYING IN THE SAME PLACE

Leicester took over 1st position from Chelsea, who took over 10th position from Crystal Palace. Crystal Palace took over 15th place from Newcastle, who are now relegated. Let’s look at EPL standings this time last season and now for the last & spots in the league.

14/15 Season

Last 7 1415

 

 

 

 

 

15/16 Season

Last 7 1516

 

 

 

 

 

So, first thing you’ll see is that Sunderland, Newcastle and Aston Villa regressed. 2 of them got relegated, and Sunderland (again) escaped by the skin of their teeth. Obviously, these teams never set out to just survive, but that’s all they end up doing. They can’t continue doing this for 2 reasons:

  1. Pressure from below: 3 teams were promoted to the EPL from the Championship this season (Norwich, Bournemouth, Watford). Of the 3, only Norwich was sent packing. It could just as easily not have been them. So in a sense, the survival race could have been tougher. If you stay in the same place, you automatically regress. This leads me to my next point.
  2. Pressure from above: In the 2014/15 EPL season, 3 teams were promoted. 2 teams (Burnley & QPR) were sent right back. The one that stayed (Leicester) won the league this season. This happened after they finished 14th last year. Even then, they were above Sunderland, Aston Vila & Newcastle. They strengthened their team and put a structure in place that allowed them to succeed (or at least do more than survive); open-minded and engaged ownership; phenomenal scouting, and a coach who takes pressure off his players (if ever it was on to begin with).

OKFM haven’t figured out an algorithm for relegation just yet, but we will say this. Don’t expect to stay in the same place by NOT improving. If you stay the same, things will STILL change.

 

TOTTENHAM
Capturfffe

Tottenham have come on in leaps and bounds from last season. Before today, the feeling was that this Tottenham side were extremely special. One or 2 players away from ‘doing a Leicester’, and we wouldn’t even be surprised that it happened.

Before today. After the Newcastle mauling, perception has been altered somewhat. The team is good, but the fact that their fortunes take a turn for the worse so markedly whenever 1 player is absent (Dembele) is ridiculous. There won’t be another season like this again; letting themselves go, even in a dead rubber like this one, is a bad way to end the season. This was an opportunity to lay down the gauntlet. Not just for Arsenal, but for every other team in the top 7. And they dropped the ball woefully.

I have deliberately not compared Tottenham’s fortunes on the final day with Arsenal’s. This is because comparing them with Arsenal makes no sense logically here. Tottenham’s improvement this season has been one that happened not just by their position in the league, but by the overall mentality of the players. Harry Kane went and took the top scorer award. Erik Lamela was a pitbull this season, a winger who scares defenders and attackers alike with his marking and tackling from the front. Toby Aldeweireld, Eric Dier, Hugo Lloris, Kyle Walker, Dembele. DANNY ROSE. All of them are much-improved.

Arsenal have moved only one spot higher than from last season. And that is the only moving the club have done.

So despite today’s result, Tottenham should be proud. Because they competed with their previous selves, and they won.

 

Arsenal should be the ones being trolled, because they are still shit.

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Reflections

MAY we still SAY (sai) BABA? (GUEST POST by @MisterLash)

Hello, everyone. In light of recent events, the following is an older post from a good friend of mine called Tom Lash. Feel free to get at him on his Twitter handle, @MisterLash

 

SAI BABA.

The said catchphrase rings a nostalgic tune. However, the once popular victory chant now echoes dead beat, in the conscious minds of a deeply disconsolate populace. Why perhaps? The called frigid fable follows below.

 

About one year ago, Nigerians took a bold chance at change. But what have we today? One Chance! Just as sure replacing the second c with g herein doesn’t guarantee CHANGE;

Bus conductors hardly ever have CHANGE;

Tariffs on the rise yet power cuts never CHANGE;

Substituting coaches yet eagles play don’t CHANGE;

Exorbitant conversion rates for foreign exCHANGE;

Unbearable cost of living all in the name of CHANGE . . .

 

Sai baba? This is the sad reality. The people clamoured, and clamoured for CHANGE. And did they get an altered package or what? To some Nigerians now, the word is a taboo. It is a word most associative of a plague. Even a Nigerian child born today might just grow to learn the word in the disapproving sense as every other Nigerian has come to identify its connotation in the negative light.

 

Sai baba? Nearly one year into your second coming, we have rather to record the second anniversary of the Chibok girls’ abduction—talk about a miserable milestone to mark.  Indeed we see your continued fight against extremism up north, it doesn’t, however, absolve your government of its standing obligation to fulfil one  of its main campaign promises much less to speak of its given mandate to carry out its core function of securing lives and properties all over the federation. Say, if sparing Nigerians the national stigma seen with failing to sting the Sambisa scorpions to bring our girls back isn’t paramount enough, then the undying trauma being faced by the downtrodden mothers at hand, many of whom have died of hypertensive abandon, should strike a melancholic chord.

 

Granted, the previous administration were in custody of security concerns when this tragic debacle occurred, your government, nonetheless, as a matter of responsibility and introspective priority, should have squared up to its demanding billing in doing everything possible to #BringBackOurGirls. It’s not enough to drive the hash tag and then allow the rescue mission drag; it’s not enough to trend in the opposition only to bend the struggle after being inaugurated in prime position. The longer this clarion call stalls, the quicker it would fetch to open more windows to widowhood; and who else to say would have allowed for this wide aperture of woe? Men full of evil intentions? Perhaps the fearless faction of Fulani herdsmen slaughtering human beings for cattle should make the shortlist; except they are yet to count as full threats to the sanctity of regional peace and unity. But here’s what counts. Many have already been murdered in cold blood. But how many more must die before the government were to acknowledge the arrival of a new band of terrorists? Are we to wait for a rule of full anarchy before it takes urgent action to nip this crisis in the bud? Simply put, it foretells a move foolhardy.

 

Sai baba? Your fight against corruption is commendable. Undoubtedly, a mere lot has been looted from the coffers over the years—oil monies laundered; treasury bills pilfered; government bonds cornered; and public funds diverted…to mention but a few. Surely now, your tireless charge to recoup these spoils is valiantly extolling to say the very least. However, if really Nigeria must come to grow under your command; if really Nigeria must come to know itself a lush productive land, then far more must be done beyond cultivating scapegoats. Now, inasmuch as rearing sacred cows isn’t the point at issue here, the tenets of logic, at best, would suggest that channelling all of your energy into prosecuting the war on corruption might, in the long run, defeat the purpose of nation building. Conversely, if all the anti-graft agencies under your watch would act as commissioned while you focused on harnessing green ideas so geared at driving Nigeria’s static economy forward, then far more would have been achieved during your faring administration. But, from the look of things, the sword, sadly, appears to be tearing the pen apart.

 

Sai baba? We tend to see more of you abroad than we get to in Aso Rock. We get to see a dark dawn as the cock crows while you get to wake up to radiant lawns saying hello to us from the other side. But it wouldn’t be such a sin as long as Nigeria were to win; it wouldn’t be such a bad thing as long as our economy stops being thin.

Recently, our attention was drawn to your novel trip to China. Over there, it is rumoured you allegedly cajoled the Chinese government to commit to lending Nigeria $2 billion dollars for her infrastructural development. Now that sounds mighty impressive—but merely on the surface.

 

First of all, this is NOT a grant. It is a loan that would be paid back in full, and safe to deduce, with capital interest. Secondly, it makes but for a harrowing concern to negotiate the fact that this alleged loan should constitute any part of our national budget at all. (Speaking of budgets, how does it take an APC-led FG/NASS five months beyond the fiscal year to enact? Surely, this tardiness which now has had the 2016 budget signed into law, nearly half way through the year, can only make for a fitting excuse waiting to be exercised should the unsurprising story be that of a partial implementation of its called provisions). We beg to differ. Why toil today to borrow only to foil Nigeria’s interest tomorrow? This, baba, bemoans a no-brainer. Rather than subject Nigeria to a gargantuan debt profile as was the case with the Paris debt just over a decade ago, wouldn’t it call for divine wisdom to formulate favourable economic policies to attract foreign investments instead of borrowing the kind of money that can conveniently power the annual budgets of two independent nations? Why set ourselves up as debtors when we can set up green field staple points with our IGRs, including looted funds recovered, to maximize our economic potential? Why?

 

Sai baba? This is not what Nigerians voted for; neither is it time to resort to playing the blame game. From your inaugural speech, we learnt the past to be prologue; so pointing accusing fingers now at the previous administration for Nigeria’s present economic woes is simply addressing of an acerbic epilogue.

 

To close this chapter, we heartily state that APC should not be A Problem Continued. Rather, APC should deliver on its vital promise for…

A Positive CHANGE!

 

We hereby call on your government to give real meaning to the watchword. And while we do not expect a sudden miracle to rescue Nigeria from its putrid plight overnight, we do expect to start seeing signs of a gradual recovery process.

 

Baba, Nigerians are helplessly waiting. But time certainly isn’t.

#SaveNigeria now before the light dies out;

#SaveNigeria before it is consumed by the blight of austerity;

#SaveNigeria and be the hero after;

#SaveNigeria . . .

. . . that’s all we ask;

Nay/Sai baba?

 

Signed

@MisterLash

 

For and on behalf of every unchanged Nigerian.

 

 

 

 

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Reflections

Property

May I have your attention, Yung Lady? I’d like to talk for a bit.

For a few minutes. If you like me a bit more, we can go and get something to eat.

You can laugh at my jokes better with that Eba in your mouth.

I can touch you plenty more when you know what I’m about.

People think that I’m a bit aggressive when I talk

And that I’m too direct and I don’t like small talk

But why waste time when there won’t be a repeat

If the world ends in 5, leave the rice, I start with meat.

After a while……

Yung Lady, Yung Lady. Now we know each other well

You give me love and attenshun; no need to ask again. We gel

Now that we know awaselves, and you know what I’m about

There is trust. I misplace my tongue and find it in your mouth.

Now when we groove there is nothing for me to prove

Na like that Ludacris song. When I move, you mooove.

Now it’s like when I move my head, your whole body turns

Because I am the head, your body and mine are one

Another while

Haha Yung Lady I don’t ask if you want more

What permishun? Don’t petition. You are mine now for shure

You exist to serve me, at my efry beck and call

Why shall I ask? Did Ronaldo ask before he score?

I’m aggressive. So what. Stop pretending like it’s wrong.

My justice is brief but my punishment is long

You gorrit too twisted, this was never your song

Property doesn’t sing, Yung Gurl. To me that you belong.

 

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Reflections

“Entitlement”

If I hustle my money

You go follow me chop am

Na me bring you come Lagos

I resemble your papa?

 

I won’t take you out to eat. Because I know if I’m not with you, you will find a way to eat

I will never take you shopping. That’s the furthest way from your v****a heart

I will buy you a drink, and I will entertain you.

I accept my role as a dancing monkey. Since we will be copulating later, I might as well put on a show.

You want credit?

Call your father. Or else why bring you into this world?

You want to buy Milo? Don’t ask me for it, that shit will go to your thighs anyway

I won’t be your sponsor.

You want diamonds? Go to a construction site near you, pick up some gravel.

And no, no, no, don’t say it’s because I can’t

It’s because I won’t, there’s a difference

Are you the girl who brings your girlfriends on dates with complete strangers?

I can write a post about you broke beggars.

You want to explain, don’t bother.

I don’t need it, I’m not your father.

PostScript: DISCLAIMER. This is not all that I’m about. But I still wrote it.

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